As I have aged, the dreams and visions have decreased, only emerging once in a blue moon. As I reflect on this fact, I am reminded of Christ’s urging for us to come to God as a child. As a child I knew the voice of my Father. I never feared dreams that could rightly be deemed as scary, because I knew what my God was telling me to do with them. Yet over time, the bumps and bruises of life have created scar tissue on the heart that was once so tender and pliable in the hands of God. If I am honest, I have to admit that it is not that God no longer speaks to me; rather, I just stopped listening.
Last night my father in law was reading out of the newspaper a story of a convicted drug dealer who paid someone $400 to cut off the soft pads of his fingertips. My father in law said, “Why didn’t he just burn them off, or use sand paper?” LOL! Sand paper?! I didn’t even know that worked! Those who know my father in law know that he is a well of endless information. He told me that people who crack safes will sand their fingertips to make them more sensitive to the feel of pins dropping into place as the lock glides over the divots. My father in law said, “So always carry sand paper if you plan on cracking safes.” LOL!
That is so funny to me, but I think that is part of what God has called me to be. For some crazy reason, when I see people, weather in thought or face to face, I feel them. I feel their heart, I see their soul, I sense their apprehension. As I begin to really recognize this for what it is, I realize that over my few years of adulthood I have gone into self-preservation at warp speed. I have hardened my senses; my heart has calloused toward others. It hurts to feel so much! But, it is what God has put in my hands. If I am merely a tool in the hands of the Creator, who am I to refuse to work in the way he has intended! I need to allow my heart to be broken once again. I cannot be effective if I remain hard hearted, rusted in every joint and crevice. So, I must carry sand paper with me wherever I go. It scares me to death to think about what God will begin entrusting me with once I start listening, but really, I doubt he ever stopped telling me things…I just stopped hearing.
Hebrews 4: 12, 13 tell me that, “the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to divide soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” Sounds like good sand paper to me.